The Importance of Holding SpaceAug 23, 2022
Humans have forgotten how to hold space for others without judgement. The media has done a tremendous job the last 2.5 years of psychologically manipulating once kind people into bullies. Do you agree or disagree and why?
Once, humanity was more willing to sit with family and friends, co-workers, and acquaintances and have a conversation about important issues. Since March of 2020, the media has done a good job of making sure we are “othering” people who disagree with us on every level. Gone are the days where calm conversations can happen and people can agree to disagree. More people are inclined to get angry, walk away and never look back.
This has caused a great divide in our world. One I wonder if we can recover from.
What does it mean to hold space? It means to be completely present with someone. No judgment. No offering solutions to issues they discuss. Just witnessing their processing. That someone can even be you or your personal story.
Holding Space for Someone
As you listen to a story or a friend talk about their problems, there is no judgment. No interruption. No asking questions or putting in your two cents worth of your life experience. Only allowing the individual to express what is required. Remaining still and quiet even when something triggers something in us as a story is told.
When we are able to be still and hold space for someone else, it creates a space in which the storyteller can feel at ease, safe, accepted, and even loved. It creates a place in which the storyteller can express things they may have never been able to before.
This space is an incredible gift for someone.
Through holding space we allow answers to surface, closure, and healing to take place for the storyteller and often on some level, with ourselves.
As you listen to your family stories, hold space. Even if you can only do it for a short time, that moment could change more than you may ever know.
Holding Space for Ourselves
Some may say holding space for others is easier than holding space for ourselves. This may be true for some as we tend to judge ourselves often more harshly than others. How can we hold space for ourselves and our own stories?
Find a quiet place to be. Where is that for you? Your bedroom? A hot bath? Out in nature? Sitting in your car away from the noise of home and family? Out on the water? Wherever this place is for you, go there.
Think about your story, or stories, that rise up asking to be examined. When we are able to look at our story as an observer with no trigger or point of view about it, what new things might we see? What might we become aware of that we were not before?
Healing the Divide
Is it possible to heal the divide? I’m no longer sure. What I do know is the psychological games being played on the planet the last couple of decades and more recently, the last 2.5 years have done tremendous damage.
On the other hand, the psychological games have also shown us, individually and collectively, our shadow sides. The shadow side contains those things we have been afraid to look at, things that have not surfaced that run our lives on an unconscious level, and where we need to do some inner work.
Many people prefer to ignore their shadow self and just be whatever they are or all fake light and love. Only when we confront those pieces of ourselves that we do not like or have kept hidden out of shame, grief, guilt, anger, hate, etc., can we heal. When we are each willing to do our part, humanity heals. The universe heals.
Are you doing your inner work and holding space to help close the divide? Or are you being a bully and continuing the energy of the divide? If you'd like to learn more about this, visit my YouTube Channel to watch a short video. I'd love to hear your thoughts!
We will be discussing more about this topic plus our kids, mental health and our research on Friday 26 August 2022 at 7:00 p.m. CDT in my Ancestral Souls Zoom. This is a free event. Just click here to register.
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